Thousands gathered here yesterday to protest  the government’s position on Global Warming.

Their spokesman Frosty, the well known TV personality, was quoted as saying “We’ll continue this protest until the UN passes a binding resolution banning outdoor temperatures above 32° F (0° C).”

When asked about sources of funding for their cause, Frosty stated that there were a number of “deep-pocketed” supporters, including Santa Claus, Incorporated.  He also noted that the renowned Professor Hinkle is leading a research group dedicated to finding a solution for raising the temperature at which all water, including salt water, freezes.